RIG FOR HIRE!!!

PSSSSTTTT! Can you keep a secret? Are you sure? Can I trust you?

All right, here’s the thing. But be very, very careful how you handle this bit of news or you could end up in a hospital bed or even worse.

The People’s National Congress Reform has a rig for hire and some big oil firms are interested.

All right – I know you are shocked, but be very, very careful. You know oil is big, big business and people with rigs can earn big, big money.

And you know you just don’t mess with people smelling big, big money. The smell of cash can drive some people crazy, right?

That’s why the folks in Congress Place in Sophia (PNCR headquarters) were not so happy when a band of `peaceful protesters’ tried to do their thing on the street outside the place this week.

A lot of people could not understand how a small band of PNCR leaders and supporters can be free to protest and sink to dirty name-calling outside the Office of the President and other places in the city and another group had to run for their lives when they tried to parade outside Congress Place.

If one group of people can protest under police protection, why can’t another do the same without having to run for their safety and lives?

It was very, very puzzling until I found out why the folks in Congress Place do not want any outsiders nosing around their base.

It’s the rig that the party has for hire. Trust me – I got it from very, very usually reliable sources who have requested anonymity to protect their safety and lives.

Anyone with a bit of knowledge about Guyana’s political history will know that the PNCR has an unenviable international reputation for its superb rigging machinery. That machinery was so perfected and its operators so clever, that it kept the party going smoothly for almost 30 years.

But then former United States President Jimmy Carter linked up with some forces here who were very suspicious about this superb PNCR rigging thing and after severe pressure in the right places, checks found that there were some serious flaws.

The PNCR leaders found themselves in a dilemma – their rig was serving them well but the party desperately needed vital aid from the West to keep it going. The rig, they found, was not like that Energizer battery in the TV ad that just keeps going and going and going.

The party needed saline and the rig had to undergo changes and it collapsed under the glare of international scrutiny.

The majority of Guyanese cheered lustily at the apparent demise of the PNCR rig in October 1992 and since then the rot seemed to have set in all across Congress Place and other party sanctuaries.

But now it seems that some of the old riggers who survived that sea change were simply biding their time and they are jumping for joy at the victory they produced last weekend.

The headlines in the newspapers didn’t shout it out and the TV stations probably had their reasons for trying to conceal the big news – but the PNCR rig was again in business and it can deliver!

That was heady tidings for the old faithful in Congress Place and they were dancing and jumping while proclaiming `Long live the Rig! The rig is big!’

And as fate would have fit, it was around the same time that the CGX oil company, which believes it has found huge deposits of oil offshore Guyana, announced that it was looking to hire a rig to drill.

That sent the old stagers in Congress Place into a frenzy and in their euphoria they contacted CGX saying their rig was the best in the world – it can deliver whatever the renter wants.

My understanding is that someone told them CGX may be interested and an emissary will visit Congress Place for talks.

They were waiting when the `peaceful protesters’ arrived to try to do their thing. This could jeopardize the big time for the party rig and that made the old stagers mad.

And you know what happened – the band had to flee.

You see why you have to be very, very cautious with this bit of news?

It’s hazardous trying to mess with some people’s rig when it’s their only means of survival.